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Even though he’s a to-ho-ho-ho-tal legend, it doesn’t mean we can’t tell a few silly Xmas jokes about him and his reindeer squad, does it?
Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Some might even make your eyes roll. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! We all know, some jokes just tell the truth in a funny way. Others just use puns so we can laugh about things. I’d like to find out the reason why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut out of Disneyland. Before the clients left the sperm bank, what did the receptionist say to them? Thank you for coming!A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Would you like anything?” The bear responds, “No, I’m stuffed.” How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Need a laugh? We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. You'll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it. And you don't have to worry about these being clean: All of our favorite jokes are fit for kids and adults. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room (be sure to bookmark our April Fool's jokes for next year!) A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.” I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Is there any difference between the Greyhound terminal and a lobster with b**bs? One of them is a crusty bus station and the other is a busy crustacean. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other's a little lighter. Wanna REALLY funny jokes to tell your family (children included) that they will love? Well, here are the ones my family laughed most at. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Check out the great joke generator!
You know Tom; I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.
Nevertheless, if you do not want an awkward moment for your children making them pretending that they do understood the joke – or you do not want them to use them, here I collected some clean jokes here that you can share with your teens at home (or wherever you want).I would like to know what hurricane said to the coconut palm tree. Watch out, this is not an ordinary blow job! Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." When you have some teenagers at home, you have to pay attention of what kind of jokes you tell. I do remember being a child and not understanding my grandma’s jokes. Then, as a teenager, I always got embarrassed hearing them telling them (and pretending I did not understood them). Even though I admit, then I could explain them to my school mates and I was the queen! At some point, you start also laughing with the adults in the room. I’m beginning to think that maybe it’s wrong to put someone who thinks they’re a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.”– Stan in South Park
In my family, we have a joke contest for Christmas. We started some years ago and that is why I started collecting jokes… Now I am sharing them here. Humor and humor are associated with status and power. Humor really helps individuals to be effective in any way possible, wherever they are. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law? No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing. Did the sex toy store employee say anything to the customers before closing for the night? There’s no time to waste! It’s time for you to beat it! A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran. Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.” A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled… cheese." The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "Whaddya mean?" the bear replies. "I'm a bear!"
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